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Marcelinho e o início de uma nova era

Torero

(Vou estrear aqui no blog uma nova categoria: Velharias, onde vou colocar alguns textos antigos. O texto de hoje, por exemplo, é de janeiro de 1998 e fala de uma ideia bizarra da Federação Paulista de Futebol: instituir uma espécie de campeonato, via disque-900, para ver quem ficava com o passe de Marcelinho. Um campeonato que obviamente já tinha um vencedor. Estranho, estranho…)

Primeiro tivemos a Idade da Pedra, depois a do Ferro, então a do Ouro e há pouco passamos pela Era Atômica. Mas desconfio que nestes últimos meses entramos num novo tempo, numa nova fase da humanidade: a Era do Tele-900. Muitas coisas hoje já se decidem por esse curioso método, uma mistura de democracia, capitalismo e bingo.

Carros, geladeiras, televisores e outro sem-número de objetos já foram sorteados nesses tele-900s, mas agora, no Paulista-98, teremos um produto diferente: um homem. Mais especificamente, um jogador de futebol. Mais especificamente ainda, o Marcelinho.

Claro que a intenção, pelo menos a visível, é boa, e o objetivo é valorizar o campeonato, mas tenho algumas dúvidas.

A primeira coisa que me preocupa é que a disputa parte de uma desigualdade. A torcida do Corinthians é a maior, portanto o Corinthians é o favorito a reconquistar o futebol do craque.

Será que palmeirenses, são-paulinos e santistas terão ânimo para perder R$ 3 e, ainda por cima, reforçar o rival? Outra dúvida: por que os times pequenos não podem participar desse leilão-sorteio? Eles também não estão filiados à federação? E isso não diminuirá o equilíbrio do Campeonato Paulista?

Porém, já que o tele-900 entrou até no futebol e já faz parte de nossa vida, por que não levá-lo às últimas consequências. Os técnicos, por exemplo, poderiam submeter a escalação das equipes a esse sistema. Cada jogador teria seu número, e assim os times seriam formados à imagem e semelhança dos torcedores.

Além disso, pode ser uma forma de engordar as receitas dos clubes. Tal idéia pode valer também para a seleção. Aliás, o Taffarel que me desculpe, mas nessa eu gastaria os meus R$ 3.

Mas não paremos por aí. O tele-900 pode ter muitas outras utilidades. Ele poderiam, por exemplo, substituir as eleições.

Como estamos em ano eleitoral, a idéia poderia ser testada já. Para o eleitor seria uma grande vantagem, pois não precisaria mais enfrentar filas, e tudo o que teria que fazer é discar para o número do seu candidato e pronto. É claro que os mais ricos votariam mais vezes e assim o poder econômico poderia decidir a eleição. Mas talvez já seja assim.

A diferença é que, em vez de ser um processo caro e deficitário, as eleições passariam a dar lucro, e com o dinheiro arrecadado o governo poderia construir mais escolas e hospitais. Ou então engrossar a verba do Proer.

Pensando bem, logo logo nem de eleições vamos precisar. Todas as matérias importantes serão decididas no voto telefônico.

Pena de morte? Sim, disque 0900-666. Não, ligue 0900-111.

Casamento entre pessoas do mesmo sexo? Sim, disque 0900-2424. Não, ligue 0900-4242.

Como isso seria o fim dos políticos, o governo pouparia gastos de salários e mordomias, e nossa capital, Brasília, poderia ser transformada num imenso cassino, que talvez seja a verdadeira vocação daquela cidade.

Aliás, o formato do Congresso já não sugere uma imensa roleta?

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